Is there any hope for the girl who sins despite all the practical tools in her tool belt?
I fell into sin. Again. This would be the fourth time in the past two months. I had given into masturbation after being delivered from its bondage last year. I didn’t heed my own advice that I had written of in my articles. I felt like a failure—and a hypocrite. Cue the dread, terror, and hysteria accompanied by condemnatory voices saying, “You’re going to hell! No more salvation for you.” I wondered, “Is there any hope? Is there any hope for the girl who sins despite all the practical tools in her tool belt?”
What do you think I did next? Cry and panic about being damned to hell? Well, yes. But after that, I just cried to Jesus. I lamented, “Lord, how can I call you “Lord” if I don’t do what you say?” I confessed, “I masturbated willfully even though I knew it was wrong. I am so sorry.” The sweetest thing about Jesus is that when we confess to Him, He truly is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9). God honors humble obedience in confessing our faults to Him (see Psalms 32:3-4). Even after confessing, though, my guilty conscience was absolutely roaring. My own weak flesh and the adversary were hounding me with fear and condemnation. I finally had to shout, “Enough! Quiet!” I ran upstairs. Picked up my Bible and read. Regardless of how dirty and guilty I felt, I said to myself, “I have to have Jesus.” If I deny Christ by not accepting His forgiveness, I rob myself of grace.
The Spirit then led me to the story of the sinful woman anointing the feet of Jesus in Luke 7. I pray this beautiful reminder of the forgiveness of Jesus toward the empty-handed sinner blesses you. In Luke 7:41-42 Jesus says,
Our sweet Savior knows that we have absolutely nothing to pay Him back for our trespasses. Our attempts to change our behavior and our self-bashing is not pleasing to Him. Instead of condemning us He completely and totally forgives it all because He knows how much we need Him. That is the grace and mercy of God. Jesus later states in verse 47, “Wherefore I say unto thee, Her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much: but to whom little is forgiven, the same loveth little.” What is Jesus teaching us? When we think we only have a “little sin” we only love our Forgiver a little. We don’t believe He actually needed to forgive us of anything substantial.
Sometimes God allows us to experience the depth and horror of our sin (though He alone knows how bad we could be without His redemption). However, this is only to allow us to appreciate His forgiveness more. We fall deeper in love with Christ because of His kindness towards us. When we see ourselves as big debtors (like the creditor that owed 500 pence), we experience big relief and big freedom. We also show bigger love to our Lord Jesus for forgiving us. After reading Luke 7, I became overwhelmed by the realization that Jesus loves me. I became overwhelmed by this newfound love for Him. For Him to forgive someone like me is huge! It is true what Paul said in Romans 2:4. It is the goodness of God that leads us to repentance. His goodness and love produces a change in me as I continue to be conformed to the image of Christ.
The sum of the matter? Romans 5:20 tells us that where sin abounded grace did much more abound. This is not an incentive to continue in sin. Rather, this reflects the goal of Pure and Lovely Ministries: to shift our focus from our sin to our Savior. We focus on who we are in Christ rather than what we do in the flesh. The adversary and your own weak flesh will always come up against you to accuse, blame, and condemn you. But next time they try, imagine Jesus standing next to you in the courtroom in Heaven. He defends you, declaring, “Her sins, which are many, are forgiven.” And let the condemnation fall to the ground. Only listen to the voice of that Good Shepherd saying, “Your faith has saved you, go in peace.”
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